The Train Car Illusion
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: In an attempt to get Sheldon's one track mind off of trains for his Date Night, Amy, Penny, and Leonard bring up points about one of Sheldon's favorite places to get food that threatens to destroy his opinion that anything related to trains is perfect. Shamy, implied L/P, but pairings not the focus of the fic.


**So I've been getting a few requests via PM from readers. The most requested is for me to write TBBT again. I know I've been writing lots of The Mentalist lately, and I do not apologize for that (anyone not watching that show – start) but I did miss writing for this show. The second thing is some have said they want to follow me on Twitter because I tweet fic updates and what I'm working on, but don't want to see my livetweets and/or real life spamming. So I've made a Twitter account you're free to follow; WBTP_fanfiction, that will only be fic updates and fic recommendations. No livetweeting, no spazzing or spamming of any kind.**

**And I don't own anything, not even the idea. I went to Los Angeles to go watch them tape episode 6.02, and Roxanne and I had a conversation about a place we ate that inspired the fic.**

"Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny,!"

Penny ran to the door and threw it open. "Amy, for God's sake, what is it?"

"I need your help," Amy said. "Sheldon was at my mother's house today, and he kept going on and on about trains. She has _one_ picture with a guy who looks like some conductor from the eighteen something or others and he kept rambling about how trains would be the greatest thing since sliced bread if trains hadn't come before sliced bread."

Penny smiled sympathetically. "He does think that trains are pretty great," she said. "Now, how exactly do you need my help?"

"Well," Amy said, "you always come up with creative things to do with clothes, and hair, and, and this is only a guess, but guys, and I was thinking that maybe if we could discredit his train obsession, then…" she trailed off, "then maybe I could convince him to _not_ have our Date Night at Carney's."

Penny laughed. "Is that what this is all about?"

"Well, no," Amy said. "His train talk does get annoying, but it was during this conversation that he told my mother that we had a Date Night tonight, and he said it was going to be at Carney's because that is just a perfect place to go, and blah, blah."

Penny smirked at Amy's _blah_ing. "You know," she said, "Leonard has told me a few things that I hadn't thought of, but that he's always wondered how Sheldon can tolerate eating at those places. We've decided that he is overlooking them because of the fact that they _are_ train cars. But once we point them out…it will drive him crazy." She grinned. "We've been waiting for something good to come up to use this, and I think this is perfect."

Amy grinned. "I want to know!"

Penny exited her apartment and closed the door, beckoning with her finger for Amy to follow her across the hall.

* * *

"Hello, Leonard. Hello, Penny. Hello, Amy," Sheldon said, nodding to each of the occupants of the living room as he returned home and put down his jacket. "Amy, are you almost ready for Date Night?" He put his arm up in the air like a train conductor. "Woo woo."

"You're taking her to Carney's?" Leonard asked, looking baffled. "I figured by now you'd have noticed what's wrong with that place and boycotted it, _forever_."

"Why would I ever do that?" Sheldon asked, looking confused as he came over and sat in his spot. "I love Carney's! It is a perfect thing to do on, well, any sort of day."

"You know that your love of Carney's is based off of what is probably a convenient lack of observational skills, don't you?" Amy asked Sheldon.

"Amy," he said. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Well, think about it, Sheldon," Leonard said. "It's supposed to be this fun place, right? It's a _converted train dining car_. You might say it's supposed to be well…a celebration of trains."

"Well, of course it is," Sheldon said. "Trains must be celebrated."

"Well…" Penny said, cocking her head. "Then…then why is there a sign inside of the Hollywood Carney's that says to "beware" the trains?" She put on an over exaggerated puzzled look. "I wouldn't think that _any_ fun, train loving place would _have_ such a sign."

Sheldon twitched. Beside him, Amy broke slightly, giving Penny a smirk across the coffee table. Penny blinked rapidly for a second in an attempt to stop her own smirk. Leonard made fists with both his hands, trying not to smirk himself.

"Trains are of course dangerous," Sheldon said, speaking carefully, "Carney's is clearly just trying to be authentic in reminding us that they are, apart from wonderful playthings for children and fascinating to read about, also real working machines that can kill."

"I suppose," Amy said, "but that is giving out mixed signals, don't you think?"

"And…" Penny cocked her head again, as if she was just now thinking of this, "don't they claim to have the best burgers and hot dogs in the area? No, no, that's not it…"

"I believe they say _probably_ the best hot dogs and burgers," Leonard said, tapping Penny's shoulder. "You'd think that such a wonderful train loving place would have a _little_ more confidence in themselves."

"Well, they could just be being realistic," Amy said, holding her hand out with the palm up. "I mean, maybe they know they have some strict competition."

"But, Amy," Penny said, holding up a finger, "if Carney's was competitive, _driven_, to become the best hot dogs and burgers, bar none, wouldn't they have the thought to specialize in one? Become the best hot dogs, or the best burgers, and succeed at being the best at the one food, whether than try for both and just be able to claim the _probability_?" She looked at Leonard. "Probability?"

He nodded. "That's right." Penny looked proud.

"I mean, you're making sense there, Penny," Leonard said. "I mean, Sheldon didn't trust your dry cleaner guy because he also made keys. And as a scientist, we are supposed to really only appreciate the driven individuals, the specialists, who aim to be at the top of their field. Sheldon, would you respect say, an engineer, who claimed to be _probably_ the best?"

"Of course not," Sheldon said. "I have no respect for any engineers."

"You know what he means," Amy scolded. "You know," she said, in a louder voice, "I have to agree with you, Leonard. And you, Penny. Carney's really seems to be a sub par joint, I mean, Sheldon, a fun train meal of only probably the best food with a sign that could potentially scare the simple minded?" She shook her head.

Sheldon was twitching more, looking as if he was employing self control no one knew he had in order to remain sitting in the chair.

Then whatever self control he was using ran out, and he jumped up. "Fine, Amy, we'll go wherever you want." He stormed over to his desk and grabbed his jacket, looking back at them. "Carney's is a _train!_" he shouted before leaving the apartment and slamming the door.

"Well, I'd better get going," Amy said, standing up and smoothing down her skirt. She grinned at Leonard and Penny. "That was fun."

Penny giggled. "It really was."

"Carney's does have some pretty good food," Leonard admitted.

"But the best?" Amy asked.

Leonard shrugged, grinning. "Probably."

"Well," Amy said. "That was fun. But I'd best be off. I got a date!"

"Just be prepared for payback!" Leonard called.

Amy turned. "What?"

"Once he's under control," Penny said, "Sheldon will try and disillusion you about something you love."

"Psssh," Amy said. "He already does that all the time. I'm never not going to love monkeys."


End file.
